Do I have a substance abuse problem?

Sometimes people have a drink after work.
Sometimes they meet with co-workers at a local bar near work, or they have a cocktail at home. Maybe a glass of wine or a beer before dinner .  Does this make them alcoholics?  
Sometimes people smoke a joint after work or  before bed.
Does this make them a "pothead"?
For those who are concerned that they may have a problem with alcohol (or any other drug), here are a few questions that you might want to ask yourself:
 * Am I harming myself, physically or psychologically, by using as much as I do?
 * Am I hurting my family because of my using?
 * Is using getting in the way of my relationships ?
 * Is it  affecting my work?
 * Could I be putting others at risk through my substance  use?
 * Could I cope with the stress of life without using?

 Could I cut down or stop  if I wanted to?

Have you experienced anything like this....
      (a) A need for more of the substance to achieve the desired effect.
      (b) Unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use.
      (c) The substance use is continued despite encountering problems that are likely to                 have been caused or exacerbated by the substance  (arguments with loved ones,               missing work, missing important events, not feeling well, not having enough                     money for basic needs, etc).

 If you have any doubt that you may have a problem, talk to your doctor

ADHD

A recent study that followed children with ADHD into adulthood demonstrated that only 38% of the children in the study were free of ADHD by the time they were adults. What is even more troubling about the results is the fact that 57% of those children with ADHD had at least one psychiatric disorder as adults. The most common psychiatric disorders were substance abuse, antisocial personality disorder, hypomanic episodes, general anxiety disorder and major depression.  What is sobering about these statistics is that they demonstrate the fact that ADHD is not a myth. It is a very real disorder that, if left untreated during childhood, can have disastrous consequences during adulthood. Clearly, parents need to get help for their children who may have ADHD.

What are the symptoms of ADHD? The following is taken from the National Institute of Mental Help (NIMH). The URL is:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/what-are-the-symptoms-of-adhd-in-children.shtml

*Inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity are the key behaviors of ADHD. It is normal for all children to be inattentive, hyperactive, or impulsive sometimes, but for children with ADHD, these behaviors are more severe and occur more often. To be diagnosed with the disorder, a child must have symptoms for 6 or more months and to a degree that is greater than other children of the same age.

A. Children who have symptoms of inattention may:

Be easily distracted, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another

Have difficulty focusing on one thing

Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless they are doing something enjoyable

Have difficulty focusing attention on organizing and completing a task or learning something new

Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete tasks or activities

Not seem to listen when spoken to

Daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly

Have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others

Struggle to follow instructions.

B. Children who have symptoms of hyperactivity may:

Fidget and squirm in their seats

Talk nonstop

Dash around, touching or playing with anything and everything in sight

Have trouble sitting still during dinner, school, and story time

Be constantly in motion

Have difficulty doing quiet tasks or activities.

Children who have symptoms of impulsivity may:

Be very impatient

Blurt out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences

Have difficulty waiting for things they want or waiting their turns in games

Often interrupt conversations or others' activities.
* (Taken from NIMH)

Adult ADHD is one of those disorders that people can learn to control. For example, if one of the symptoms is forgetting important dates, such as anniversaries and birthdays, the solution is to program either the computer, or cell phone to send reminders.

Some of the treatment options for childhood and adult ADHD are:

1. Stimulant medications. Some of these do carry the danger of being abused.

2. More important than medication there is the use of ADHD coaching in which patients are taught coping behaviors that help them learn to fulfill responsibilities at home and at work. For example,
Making a daily list of important tasks and appointments both at home and at work.

3. ADHD is often accompanied by depression, irritability and quickness to anger. Plenty of exercise, especially aerobic types, are essential in helping relieve tension, depression and irritability. In fact, it has been found that daily exercise can reduce many ADHD symptoms.

Adapted from Allan N. Schwartz

Anxiety

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stressful situations. But in some cases, it becomes excessive and can cause sufferers to dread everyday situations.
This type of steady, all-over anxiety is called General Anxiety Disorder. Other anxiety-related disorders include panic attacks—severe episodes of anxiety which happen in response to specific triggers—and obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is marked by persistent invasive thoughts or compulsions to carry out specific behaviors .
Anxiety so frequently co-occurs with depression that the two are thought to be twin faces of one disorder. Like depression, it strikes twice as many females as males.
Generally, anxiety arises first, often during childhood. Evidence suggests that both biology and environment can contribute to the disorder. Some people may have a genetic predisposition to anxiety; however, this does not make development of the condition inevitable. Early traumatic experiences can also reset the body’s normal fear-processing system so that it is hyper-reactive to stress.
The exaggerated worries and expectations of negative outcomes in unknown situations that typify anxiety are often accompanied by physical symptoms. These include muscle tension, headaches, stomach cramps, aches and pains. 
(see previous entry on progressive relaxation)
 

 What is Mindfulness? 

Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.

What is meditation ?

 Meditating is nothing more than focusing on the present moment. The easiest way to meditate is to simply focus on your breath—not because your breath has some magical quality, but because it's always there with you. The challenge is to keep your attention on your breathing. Inevitably, your mind will wander and thoughts will arise—and that's fine. When it happens, just let go of the thought and bring your attention back to the present by focusing once again on your breath.

Resentment can be poisonous

Anger and Resentment

Trying to let go of old wounds

According to the Oxford American Dictionary, resentment is defined as "bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly. The definition includes the fact that people can harbor resentments going back many years."

Even though is may very well be true, that someone hurt you very badly in the past; if you continue to hold on to this feeling; you may not be able to move forward,  you can not empower yourself to let it go.  An important step for all adults is to acknowledge that what happened in the past cannot be undone and that what we can do NOW is build better lives for ourselves in the present and future. To do this is to take responsibility for one's behaviors and choices in the present. 

While most people believe that if they receive an apology from someone who has "wronged" them in the past, they will feel better; research shows that the act of FORGIVING  has a much more profound effect.
There is no better way to hold onto the bitter past than to relive horrible events that happened then. There is no better way to relive the awful past than to continue to blame others. Resentment is malignant.There is a quote from Buddha about how anger and resentment are like holding hot coals, intending to throw them, but in the meanwhile, it's your hands that are burning.

 "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."  ~Buddha
 
adapted from an article by Allan N. Schwartz, PhD

Who are we in a relationship?

Whoever we are, one thing is certain, we are all very much shaped by those who raised us, our parents and/or caregivers. We are the product of human relationships, and most of us spend our days within the context of relationships with other people. In order to have a "healthy, happy" life, most people  need other people to be close to us in our lives. Who we are is very much a function of where we have come from, and who we surround ourselves with. Despite their vital importance in our lives, relationships can be very difficult to manage. We expect our intimate partners to provide for many of our needs, but often find that differing expectations, frustration, and a need to be right create conditions for conflict and erosion of intimacy. Often, our children (especially tweens and teens) test us for weaknesses.  Our adult parents grow older and require care, placing a burden on our other responsibilities. A diverse set of communication and relationship skills is required if one is to successfully meet the challenges of family life. Primarily, we learn how to be in successful relationships by experiencing them directly; by watching our parents manage conflict successfully and stay true to their loving union. Similarly, we do our best learning on how to become a good parent while being parented ourselves. Problems experienced in our early relationships are often expressed in our own behavior towards others (child abusers were often themselves abused). Unfortunately  relationship skills are seldom taught in school or other institutional settings. All of this adds up to the fact that many people end up making a mess of their relationships, in part because they never learned how to do them properly. Therapy is a great place (to start)  to learn how to improve the quality of your relationships. Adapted from an article by  Mark Dombeck, Ph.D.

A relaxation tool

Self-Soothing Techniques: Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Mark Dombeck, Ph.D. and Jolyn Wells-Moran, Ph.D.Relaxation Methods. Negative emotion of any sort takes its toll on the body. Short, sharp emotions like anxiety and anger cause the body to tense up in preparation for action. Longer acting emotions like depression are associated with either tensions or fatigue. These muscular states are not mere products of the negative emotion, but rather are part and parcel of it. If you succeed in interrupting the muscular tension, you begin the process of defusing the negative emotion itself.
Several relaxation techniques have been developed which people can use to actively create a state of muscular and mental relaxation, even when they are wound up and tense. Many of these techniques work to create their relaxing effect by interrupting existing muscular tension states. Practice of these various relaxation strategies can help break down tension and promote a relaxed feeling state. Regular practice of these relaxation exercises can do something better, which is to help keep tension from returning.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation or PMR is a technique for creating muscular relaxation. It is safe and easy to do, costs nothing, and requires only a few minutes of privacy to make happen. PMR is based on two observations: 1) that muscles can be actively tensed, but not actively relaxed (relaxation depends on a "letting go" process, not a tension-producing one), and 2) that it is easier to relax and "let go" a muscle after it has just been tensed up, than it is to relax a muscle which has not been tensed up. A person practicing PMR first tenses and then lets go different muscle groups in sequence until they have tensed and then relaxed every muscle group in the body. By the end of the tension-relaxation cycle the body has entered into a deeper state of relaxation than would otherwise have been possible.
To perform PMR, lie down on the floor, or sit in a comfortable chair that supports your weight. Tense the muscles in your feet and hold them in tensions for about 10 seconds, being careful to not tense so tightly that cramps or pain occurs. At the end of the 10 seconds, release the tension and drop your feet, allowing them to come to rest as they will. Thereafter, do not try to occupy your feet, but rather leave them resting. When your feet have been tensed and then released, go on to the next muscle group, in this case, your thighs. Work through your entire body: feet, thighs, buttocks, stomach, chest, arms, neck, and then finally, facial muscles. When you have tensed and then released all the muscles in your body, take a survey of your body from the inside, using your attention to determine whether any new tension has crept into your feet, thighs, etc. while you were working the other parts. If you find tension during your survey, let it go as best you can. Lay there for a while enjoying the relaxation. Then, when you are ready, slowly start moving your muscles around again, reclaiming them. Get up when you are ready and go about your business.

Cautions regarding toys

Make Sure Toys You Buy Are Safe for Tots

by -- Robert Preidt
Updated: Nov 30th 2012
FRIDAY, Nov. 30 (HealthDay News) -- Toy shopping season is here and experts urge parents and others to make sure any gifts they buy for children are safe and age-appropriate.
Here are some gift-giving tips from doctors at the Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center and the American Academy of Pediatrics:

• Read all warning labels carefully and consider a child's age, interests and skill levels when buying toys.
• Choose toys with sturdy construction and avoid those with sharp edges and points.
• Choking is one of the leading causes of toy-related deaths, and most of these choking deaths are due to tiny balls, latex balloons and small magnets. Any toy that will be accessible by children under age 3 should not have any parts that are smaller than 1 inch in diameter and 2 inches long, because these can lodge in a child's mouth or throat.
• Avoid toy jewelry that may contain lead or cadmium, both of which can be harmful to children.
• Don't give toys that must be plugged into an electrical outlet to children younger than 10. Give them battery-operated toys instead. Remember, though, that button batteries found in toys can become lodged in the throat and cause serious injury or death.
• Don't buy pull toys with strings longer than 12 inches. They could be a strangulation hazard for babies.
• Store toys in designated areas, such as on a shelf or in a toy chest, and keep older children's toys away from younger children.
• If people offer you used toys that don't have warning labels, inspect them carefully and use your best judgment about whether to accept them.
• Some toys contain powerful magnets. If a child swallows more than one of these magnets, they can attract to one another and result in serious injury or death. If your child ingests one more magnets, seek immediate medical attention.